i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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