new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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