I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I want is dick and wine.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
