i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
