Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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