grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
