I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
