Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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