Pappa wants mamma naked
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
