why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just gift wrapped bread.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
