I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
