yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
