i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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