You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
