He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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