oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
worst night to have a conscience
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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