Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
