Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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