we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
