Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
