can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
