My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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