But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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