I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
