He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
