We're like a lot better than the average bears
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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