I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
