We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think my mom watched the whole time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
