My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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