So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The air was thick with penises
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
