It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize