I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
