About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
