She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
