So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
