I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
