Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
