Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
