all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I didn't notice because vodka
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
