i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
