Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
