i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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