lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Still dying that you shit outside
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
