I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
