I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
