If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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