he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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