and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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