Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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