soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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