he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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