It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
