And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize