How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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