is your mom at the bar?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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