Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
