Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
