The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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