Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
